Testimonials
I want to be the brother I never was . . . Ryan’s Story
Ryan is 14. He has a mom, dad and two siblings. He said his younger brother likes to quote a line from the movie “Lilo and Stitch” a lot. The line is, “Family means no one gets left behind or forgotten.”
Sometimes families can’t learn how to be families alone. Sometimes they need help. In this case, Epworth Village was that help for Ryan and his family. Ryan is able to admit many things today. He has recognized that he had an aggressive past and was verbally and physically abusive to his family.
“I had a lot of anger. Some things were about home but a lot of it was because at school I was teased and bullied a lot. I took all the school stuff and hid it within myself. At home I took the anger out on my family.”
Prior to Epworth Village, Ryan was placed in several different facilities and a couple foster homes. He said moving from placement to placement has been difficult. “It’s hard when you go through life not knowing what is going to come at you next. You have to learn to make the most out of life.”
Although Ryan believed that, he didn’t have all the tools he needed to “make the most out of life.” He didn’t know how to make healthier choices until Epworth Village came into his life.
“I’ve been at Epworth almost eight and a half months. The first four months I did not work at my treatment. I thought I could ‘play’ the therapists. I just did not care. I was at Kruse Group Home first and after one incident after another, the staff there said, ‘that is enough.’”
In March of 2008, after a Family Treatment Planning Conference, Ryan said he was transferred to Mills Treatment Group Home. “When I moved to Mills it was a big wake up call. It was hard you know, but I was there for three months and the staff was a tremendous help. Some staff shared their experiences with me.
Some had gone through the same experiences earlier in their lives. They talked to me a lot and gave me a full understanding of what was going on in my treatment.”
“At Mills I started praying a lot every night. I would sometimes start to cry knowing I was going to eventually make it through this. The next day I would feel refreshed. Everyday I would say I want to get back to Kruse and go back home. It started to stick with me that I needed to do right. Some of the other kids would complain that staff was mean, but I realized it was the kids, not the staff being the jerks.”
“At Mills my primary Jaye and also Cathy told me they look to me as a leader of the cottage because I was a Level 4. Knowing that made me feel like I could do something for the other kids, I could step up and be a positive role model.”
Today, Ryan is back at Kruse and he said, “It has been a complete 180 here at Kruse. I even got an accommodation this morning for being a positive role model. Things have really changed.”
Residential Treatment would not be effective without the teamwork between departments at Epworth, including the Epworth Village Learning Center and family-centered Therapeutic Treatment program.
“I like the school. The school staff is sort of like the staff at the cottages. They sit down with you and talk. I think my main support is my home room teacher Miss Wieseman. I sometimes slip up, but she cues me and I follow those cues. You know staff understand and care for you.”
“My therapist first was Andy, he was great, but he had to move on. Jamie, my therapist now is incredible. It’s like God sent her down to tell me to ‘wake up.’ Jamie means business but when it comes to serious matters, she completely understands. She really established trust with me and helped me feel good about myself. She was also so considerate of my family.”
“Family means no one gets left behind or forgotten.” Remember that movie quote Ryan’s little brother would share with their family? Well today, Ryan said the family is learning to value one another. One area Ryan said this is happening is within the relationship he has with his mom. “I was trying to be in the parent role before. Now I do not control my mom. My mom lays it on the line and that’s where it stays. Next week I get to see my brother and that is going to be great. If that goes well, I will get to see my sister too.”
Ryan has earned his Level 5 status, the highest status any youth at Epworth can achieve.
“I want to get a job, do well in school, start saving money and most importantly be the brother that I never was.”
Ryan, you have your entire life ahead of you to be that brother and so much more. We believe in you. Keep up the good work.